Monday, August 30, 2010

Proud owner of a ONE year old!

On Tuesday, August 24th, my little guy turned ONE! Woohoo! I feel like this little family has come such a long way & that the ink pen has touched the paper for this next chapter. His birthday was something I was so excited to celebrate! I mean, blowing up balloons & icing a cake is definitely much more fun than what I was doing a year ago. =)

However, I had Friday off instead of his birthday... & not much family is up here - mostly down south, & everyone was so busy...that NO ONE came to my son's birthday party! =( Oh my heart just ached. One of my friends stopped by to drop off a gift, another friend's husband came by to drop off their present... but it wasn't the same as having his little friends & familiar faces to celebrate with. I couldn't believe it. SO, what did we do? WELL, we set up the computer & got family from all over on skype to help us celebrate! We had music going, an inflatable kiddie pool filled with balloons to play in, bubbles to pop, & so on! We did what we always do... make the best of what we have! & between my dad, his girlfriend, brothers & their friends & all of our family on skype... I think he had an excellent birthday! The party lasted for about 6 hours so apparently it was the place to be! =)

However, & I may be reading too much into this, I am feeling very worthless. None of my BEST friends (since middle school, mind you) came to my son's birthday. I feel like I have no friends! &This is an awful feeling. To think no one outside blood relation cares for you. I know, I know.. this is a seasonal work area, therefore summer is very busy.. but I have been stretching myself so thin to attend everyone else's get togethers & functions, why couldn't the gesture be returned? Why is my special occasion less special than theirs? I feel like I give, give, give but with no return. What do you do? Find new friends? & where am I to find them? *sigh*

Oh Lord, please send me a few good friends. This world is apparently short a hand full or two. &I do thank you for the husband who is trying to fill my girl friend's high heels, but he just doesn't seem to look right in them. The effort is still greatly appreciated. Amen.

w/ LOVE♥

Saturday, August 14, 2010

That's so IN!

My cousin's husband has been in the army for years now & I've seen several wall posts on her facebook about Army Wives (the series). SO, I thought I should check it out...ya know, so I could be "IN" with other army wives! haha So, here I am, announcing my new addiction to this drenched in drama Army soap opera! I've watched the entire first season in three days - tops. Three days sounds pretty reasonable at first, until you realize how little free time I have. hahah *shrug* I've reasoned with myself that this will be helpful to me whenever my hubby gets stationed & if we prehaps live on post (I learned that Army's have posts, not bases... see? It is informative!). I also learned that I would probably get kicked out of the on-post housing. It's too strict of living conditions! I have to mow my yard how often!? Uh oh! hehe Oh well, the point is this.. I will raise my hand, call my name, & admit that I have a problem! Just please please don't take away my DVDs for the 2nd season just yet! :D

w/ LOVE♥

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

On your mark, get set - GO!

The only way to explain how I feel about my life at this moment is to reminisce about one of my favorite childhood past times. Rolling down hills. :) (What can I say? I'm a Texan! haha) I'm rolling down this huge hill right now, & my head is just spinning so fast that I don't have the slightest idea when I will hit the bottom of this thing but the anticipation & stomach-churning is so fun & exciting that I'm not sure if I even care!

A couple months ago, if God Himself had parted the clouds & told me that this is where my life was taking me, I would've probably looked for Ashton Kutcher. Life has been such a struggle the past few years. I failed out of two colleges, went through numerous troublesome boyfriends, date raped at a party, totalled my car, struggled with drugs & alcohol...then things got a little better for a while. I started on repairing my relationship with God. I started going to church 3 times a week. I enrolled in college, made good grades, tried out & made the cheerleading squad. I met a football player, fell in love. For Christmas, we went on a cruise with my family.. & I found out I was pregnant. I was scared, excited, & ashamed. When I was younger I had dreams of how life would go. I dreamt of graduating college, traveling, getting engaged, working & traveling some more, getting married, then the house, then the kids, etc. I guess I'm just a backwards kind of girl.

In less than a month, my son will be turning a year old. In October, his dad - now my husband (known only by a few select people, the army, &.. you! hehe), will be departing for basic training.

I'm just gonna keep on rolling, I guess. :)

w/ LOVE♥